Genevieve Mushaluk doesn’t like the eye. Which makes her one thing of an anomaly amongst actuality tv contestants, who by no means met a digicam they didn’t need to make passionate like to. Additionally, individuals who don’t like consideration typically don’t join a TV present as soon as, a lot much less twice. So what provides?

That’s merely how a lot Genevieve loves enjoying Survivor. She’s prepared to endure the pregame interviews she describes as “painful.” She’s prepared to place her face on tv regardless that she finds watching it again completely “terrifying.” She’s even prepared to — SHOCKER! — lastly arrange a public social media account after hiding in non-public throughout her earlier season.

So why did a lady who doesn’t like speaking about or watching herself come again for Survivor 50, probably the most closely publicized season in franchise historical past? That’s what I aimed to seek out out from the 34-year-old fifth place finisher of Survivor 47 once we sat down in Fiji for yet one more torturous cease on her pregame press tour. And it turned out to perhaps be my favourite interview of all.

(That is certainly one of 24 deep-dive, on-location interviews with the Survivor 50 forged. Hyperlinks to the opposite interviews will likely be posted on the backside of this text as they turn into obtainable.)

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: I do know it hasn’t been lengthy, however any updates because you final performed Survivor?

GENEVIEVE MUSHALUK: I acquired a canine. That's it. It was as a result of I used to be so anxious within the fall whereas [Survivor 47] was airing and I used to be like: We want an animal on this home. After which it labored out completely. Now my husband isn't coming again to a home on their own. He's acquired Booker. And that'll maintain him busy.

Inform me why you're going to win Survivor 50, Genevieve.

I'm going to win Survivor 50 as a result of I’ve realized quite a bit from my time on season 47. I got here from a really various forged with a number of nice gamers with totally different strengths, and I had the posh of truly attending to know them as soon as the sport was over and now they're good mates of mine. But when I can take all of the strengths that existed on 47 and mix it collectively and apply it to Survivor 50, I feel I can outdo anybody right here.

On the beach for 'Survivor 50': An exclusive, all-access first look at the biggest season ever 'Survivor 50' cast members vote snubbed players onto the island (exclusive)

Why come again and do that once more?

I used to be truthfully torn, and I don't imply that to sound ungrateful. I feel Survivor is wonderful. It's a two-part expertise, which you don't admire as a fan since you come out and play, after which a major period of time passes, you then watch it on TV and it's totally different than the expertise of enjoying. I actually like one aspect of the equation way more than the opposite.

However I had utilized for the higher a part of a decade and saved listening to no, and I don't have it in me when Survivor calls me to say no to them. So I'm again right here. I've acquired quite a lot of considerations. I'm not excited for a yr from now when it's on TV, however I'm so excited for a day or two from now once we get to begin.

After I did a sequence of Survivor Quarantine Questionnaire interviews with gamers speaking about what it was like after enjoying, I used to be struck by how troublesome it may be for folk after the sport, particularly the nervousness because the episodes start airing. Cochran informed me it fully took over his life.

Completely. You don't sleep on Tuesday nights as a result of Wednesday is the worst day of the week, the place as a fan, it's one of the best day of the week. It's actually robust to be a fan of the present once you're on the present for a few of us, and Cochran’s completely proper in saying it takes over your life.

And you then type of really feel like perhaps not one of the best companion or sibling or youngster or coworker since you're being so self-obsessed, and it's as a result of your nervousness is in overdrive since you're going to be uncovered and susceptible in such a dramatic trend in a approach you can't management from all your finest and worst moments out right here. So it's terrifying. I'm scared simply desirous about it. Is it too late to ship me again to Winnipeg?

It’s spectacular you can deal with it, even when you do battle with it. Everyone knows your earlier arc when it comes to enjoying this type of deliberately chilly, connectionless sport, after which discovering your self getting emotional. That's the best way you entered the sport final time. How are you getting into the sport this time?

So that you all didn't get to see an excessive amount of of this since you type of met me in episode 4, however that's really not how I entered the sport. I didn’t enter the sport with that technique. It was born out of the sport type of stunning me from an emotional perspective, in order that's undoubtedly not how I wished to play.

After I entered the sport, it grew to become a coping mechanism for the challenges of the sport. And so this time I need to be much more intentional within the different route now that I understand how it's going to play out and the way I'm inclined to react to that emotionally. After which what that triggers in me when it comes to shutting down, I'm going to be a bit higher ready to acknowledge it and redirect that guilt or anxious vitality into one thing extra constructive.

So it's going to be totally different. And if it's not, then I've failed as a result of I’ve two objectives: win, and study from that particular mistake and do issues otherwise. So I’ve acquired to at the least do a kind of.

How do you suppose different gamers right here see you?

I feel they'd be like, “Who?” They'd be like, “Significantly?”

Why do you say that?

As a result of there are such a lot of extra spectacular people who find themselves going to sit down in your tent at present and yesterday. And I partly say that as a joke, I partly say it due to imposter syndrome, but additionally as a result of one of many issues I really like about Survivor is it takes atypical folks and places them in these extraordinary circumstances, and also you see what atypical folks can do.

However there have been individuals who've performed survivor like Ozzy, who I might say is just not an atypical particular person. I don't know many Ozzys in my actual life, these individuals who match within the jungle, I don't know many Ciries, who’re simply infinitely charming and capable of maneuver in any social circumstance. So I really feel like I'm surrounded by not quite a lot of common folks, after which I'm simply the common woman from Winnipeg. So somebody sitting on this right here tent would possibly overlook me, however I’d have the ability to use that.

I imply you had an enormous, branded transfer in Operation Italy. Nice advertising and marketing on that, by the best way.

Oh, I'll give that one to the blokes. That's Andy and Sam. I simply had the purple coat.

You don't suppose that hovers over you as you hit the island?

From my expertise, it was a lot Andy's unimaginable deception and appearing and Sam's creativity and willingness to make a transfer occur and I simply did the humanities and crafts. I used to be simply making the pretend idol.

I do know that you simply and Sam had mentioned that transfer earlier than Andy introduced it to you and that you simply had already talked about one thing very comparable, so I feel you're promoting your self brief — deliberately so. Self-evaluate for me. What's your largest weak point within the sport?

My largest blind spot is myself, as a result of my self-image is plagued with my very own insecurities and I feel it prevents me from with the ability to precisely assess after which handle my risk stage within the sport or how folks see me. All of your questions on me, these must be the simplest ones and so they're those that I battle with probably the most. So I'm going to must work on that in a approach that doesn't really feel like icky to me.

I've been doing this a very long time, and often folks come again for a returning season and you’ll suppose, “Okay, they're going to be much more assured. They've been informed, ‘You're worthy, you're an all-star.’” However you're additionally going towards different all-stars, as you've been speaking about. So how are your insecurities as you enter the sport against once you entered season 47?

Good query. I'd say they exist, however they're completely totally different. I'm not afraid of the issues I used to be afraid of earlier than. I'm afraid of recent issues this time. So once I got here out for 47, a lot of what I used to be afraid of was, Can I do that? There are such a lot of unknowns about simply the sport that I haven't seen it earlier than. I haven't been out right here, I haven't skilled it. And that's what I used to be afraid of earlier than.

This time, I'm calm. I do know I've acquired the talents to do that. However ignorance is bliss the primary time you come out, and once you come again, you're like, Oh no, I bear in mind precisely exhausting that is. I do know I can do that, however I do know it's completely going to kick my ass. And I do know there's a component of luck and issues I can't management. And in a returning participant season, there are relationships, a few of which I can guess at, a few of which I'm positive [are] below the floor that I do not know exist.

And so there are new considerations that exist in a returning participant season that don't exist once you come and play your first time. It’s like once you're in college, it appears so exhausting, and you then get your first profession job and also you're like, “God, ship me again to school! These have been the nice previous days! I used to be sleeping in and everybody else was simply as scared as I used to be.” You by no means know you're within the good previous days till they're gone.

Something on a private stage that you simply remorse from the final time you performed?

The factor that jumps to my thoughts once you say that’s I spent quite a lot of time beating myself up over, particularly, voting out Kishan, as a result of that was a major private relationship to me then. And now, we’d get alongside, but it surely's not a major private relationship to me now. Whereas Sol, I couldn't stand him within the sport. I had such a adverse expertise and impression of him on the market, and now it's a really important private relationship to me.

So I remorse pondering the sport was actual life, as a result of it has a approach of fooling you as a result of it's your actual life in that second and it's actual within the sense that you simply're touching it, experiencing it, residing in it, but it surely's not the true you or the true folks you're enjoying with. And so it's troublesome to stability doing the suitable factor with the mind you could have that's constructed for the true world once you're within the Survivor world.

That's such an important perspective. I've completed 1,000,000 of those pregame interviews, however I don't suppose anybody's ever put it fairly like that when it comes to how on-island doesn't all the time match up with off-island. Talking of off-island, how a lot pre-gaming did you do with different gamers earlier than you got here out right here, Genevieve? And don’t misinform my face.

I can truthfully inform you on my life I’ve not reached out to a single participant that’s right here.

I don’t imagine you.

I’ve not reached out to a single participant that’s right here. Significantly!

Actually?

Significantly. And I could also be f—ed.

So that you reached out to the improper gamers, is that what you're telling me?

I didn't attain out to a single participant.

You're telling me that nobody reached out to you?

I’m not saying that folks haven’t spoken to me. I didn’t search out or attain out to a single participant, as a result of — and that is what makes me really not excellent at Survivor — I feel actually good gamers have the power to compartmentalize. I intellectually perceive it's the sport and we're all enjoying it, but it surely nonetheless subconsciously governs my actions.

It's very exhausting to look you within the eye and misinform you and never really feel responsible or to have a dialog with you figuring out, Okay, that is purely pre-gaming and I don't intend to be sure by any of those guarantees I'm making you. It's simpler to delineate it when you’re on the seaside in Fiji. If I'm in my residence in Winnipeg, having a dialog with somebody that appears like technique, it simply makes my pores and skin crawl. It’s not part of who I’m and the way I need to play.

I feel good gamers bested me in that division, and it’d come again to chew me within the ass right here, however I simply couldn't do it. I'm both going to go residence within the first 4 folks voted out, or I'm going to go deep on this sport, as a result of friendships are going to matter actually a ton initially once you want an advocate to avoid wasting you. However as we get nearer to the tip of this sport, friendships will turn into much less and fewer necessary, since you can’t cut up the title of Sole Survivor along with your pal. And so I simply want to carry on initially, after which I can market myself in a approach that's going to be significant to the opposite people who find themselves right here.

There are a number of seasons which have three folks right here. You’re the just one out of your season — a lone wolf! How do you are feeling about that?

God, I spent a lot looking for my pack, and now I'm again right here alone! It’s like, Oh, it's like 47 once more. I'm alone. It isn’t misplaced on me that there are clusters of individuals. I feel the one individuals who haven't performed collectively on a season with anybody else right here [are] myself, Jonathan, and Chrissy. They usually've every had much more time within the Survivor group and so they're each public on social media. You could find them, you will get to know them, I'm positive they're straightforward to contact. I'm not.

So along with watching me play and be standoffish, folks could misread my non-public life as additionally being an indication of somebody who's standoffish, and so they would possibly interpret me not reaching out to them as somebody who's not pleasant. As soon as we're allowed to speak, as soon as Jeff says go, I've acquired my work reduce out for me, however I can do it.

Since you're such a non-public particular person, how do you are feeling about this a part of the method and doing press? How do you are feeling about speaking to me proper now?

Painful. Properly, it's not painful as a result of I such as you, however that is about as uncomfortable as I’m at a Tribal Council. That's my uncomfortableness scale proper now. My mind can't deal with it and my battle or flight goes — whether or not it's Tribal Council in a sport for 1,000,000 {dollars}, otherwise you staring throughout the desk at me asking me questions on myself, or somebody sending me an electronic mail at work saying, “Hey, the place's this contract?” I don't have a very good spectrum. It's on or off. Are you able to relate, or am I loopy?

7:23 The Solid of ‘Survivor 50’ Reveals Who They Wish to Vote Out First

You're not loopy. That's why I requested you.

It must be studied.

I'm guessing you've by no means been requested, “Do you hate speaking to me?” earlier than, however I discover that stuff fascinating.

I like that you simply needed to ask. Which means I'm not overtly providing you with a vibe that simply confirms it.

No, you completely usually are not. However I used to be questioning whether or not you have been pushing via the ache to do that.

And you already know what? It's so humorous as a result of if this little recording gadget wasn't right here, I might really feel completely calm, regardless that let’s imagine the identical phrases and or not it’s the identical factor. However I simply really feel prefer it's a highlight on me and I like to be within the viewers.

I completely get it. Alright, let's speak about different folks then. Give me some names of individuals you need to work with on the island.

I maintain saying Coach and everybody provides me a shocked face.

Inform me extra instantly.

I feel the easiest way to explain it’s as somebody who spends quite a lot of psychological vitality attempting to shine and manicure the best way I present up and current and talk how I'm feeling and what I'm pondering, it’s enthralling to see somebody who seems to only be so snug in their very own pores and skin doing, saying regardless of the hell they need at any given second, social norms be damned. I simply suppose it's fascinating and I need to see what that's like. I hope it's completely real, and perhaps bottle a few of that up and take it again to Winnipeg with me. However I'm simply curious. I'm intellectually fascinated.

Inform me your observations of Coach within the lockdown, pregame portion of the sport.

Okay, so earlier than we come out to Fiji, we get sequestered at a lodge in Los Angeles. There's a producer assembly the place nobody can communicate, however that is the primary time you lay eyes on who’s within the zoo. And Coach was one of many final folks to come back in. He comes on this absolutely lit convention room together with his ponytail, sun shades on, chest puffed out, strolling up the aisle from the again of the room to sit down on the entrance. Image probably the most Prime Gun diva-ish bride strolling down the aisle. That was the vibe, and I used to be identical to, “Wow, how is there not a TV display screen between me and this man? That is cool as hell!”

I'm positive we're supposed to stay expressionless, and I'm positive my jaw was on the ground. As I'm fixing my hair and so aware of each goosebump on my physique taking over an excessive amount of house on this convention room juxtaposed towards this man? It's unimaginable.

Who else are you pondering that you simply would possibly need to work with out right here?

Jenna is giving me actually good vibes, only a actually heat, smiley particular person. I attempt to not put an excessive amount of inventory on this as a result of then I'm going to get married to an thought of somebody after which we're going to get within the sport and it's going to be [totally different]. Or I'm going to must take heed to their interview the place they're like, “Oh, dangerous vibes from that Genevieve woman!” And I'm like, “I completely misinterpret it. Damnit.”

Give me the flip aspect. Who’re you cautious of?

I'm shocked however I'm getting not good vibes from Charlie.

In what approach?

After I talk with you, I’m simply myself, so you’ll be able to inform that I'm type of neurotic and hyper, however once I'm within the tent, I actually attempt to current as calm, as a result of don't need to throw anyone else off with my loopy vitality. It's not truthful to them. So I simply maintain it to myself.

Charlie is both nervous or is simply mirroring my nervousness again to me, but it surely's unsettling. So I'm unsure if we're so comparable that it's my dangerous vibes ricocheting off him that I don't like, or if it's one thing about him that’s simply doubling down my nervousness. However yeah, it's simply unsettling. And perhaps that's why I like Jenna a lot. She simply looks as if cool as a cucumber and I'm like, Okay, secure place. It's type of identical to your inner compass being like, this looks as if a stage floor. You possibly can stand right here, it's secure. And this appears a bit wobbly.

What number of connections in particular person have you ever had with folks right here?

I've met Emily at an occasion. I've met Q at two occasions. I've met Kamilla. She launched herself on a industrial break at an occasion throughout her season.

What about these season 49 gamers that nobody has seen play?

You say nobody is aware of about them, however you find out about them and you might inform me, however you're going to decide on to not.

Properly, I used to be out right here, I met them, and watched their first few days. However I actively keep away from spoilers till issues air, so I’m solely barely much less clueless than you. And also you’re proper: I gained’t inform you anyway. So how do you deal with that unknown ingredient?

I'm of two minds, as a result of if this undercurrent of previous period vs. new period goes to be a factor, I'm season 47, which places me squarely new period, and 49 falls into that camp as nicely. However, for my private sport, if I’m most susceptible initially, the 49ers — who nobody is aware of and [have] even much less of a connection than they do to this random woman from Winnipeg — they appear like sacrificial lambs for early boots.

I must have conversations with the old-school gamers within the sport to see if there's any alternative to really work with them. And you know the way it’s: Conversations within the sport are literally not that determinative of what anybody's true intentions are. However I must get extra of a learn on how a lot room I'll must maneuver and whether or not or not I can afford to supply up the 49ers or if I must go in much more aggressive, begin throwing out names from [the] old-school aspect. That's a minefield. There's so many relationships and advocates there.

What do you make of Mike White being right here?

I used to be annoyed at first. I used to be very annoyed as a result of if the chances of me going residence early are very excessive, the chances of him going residence early are slim to none, I might say.

Why?

As a result of I feel everybody desires a cameo on The White Lotus. I haven't seen it, however I've heard it's wonderful. I particularly didn’t need to watch it earlier than popping out right here as a result of I don't need to fall into the glow of Mike White. So yeah, I used to be very annoyed to see that he was out right here.

However one evening out right here in Ponderosa once I couldn't sleep, I used to be desirous about my frustration and attempting to go together with a counter argument and discuss myself off the ledge. And I feel as a lot as Mike's celeb goes to assist him within the sport as we're out right here, through the airing — which is the half that my coronary heart bleeds for folks throughout — his celeb opens him as much as simply a lot extra scrutiny, which I really feel delicate in the direction of.

And in order a lot as I'm annoyed he's right here, I feel it's daring of him in a solution to come and open himself as much as that as a result of he doesn't get to regulate the end result. Whereas it's unlikely he goes residence early, it's nonetheless attainable. And lots of extra persons are going to speak about that than they might speak about Genevieve going residence early. And so I hate to provide him credit score. However I don't need to be on The White Lotus, and I might like to vote him out early if I may.

This interview has been edited for size and readability.

Wish to be saved up with all issues Survivor? Dig deep and join Leisure Weekly's free Survivor Weekly publication to have all the newest information, interviews, and commentary despatched proper to your inbox.

Different Survivor 50 deep dive participant interviews:
• Survivor 50 star Ozzy Lusth opens up about hitting 'all-time low of my life'
• Survivor 50 star Aubry Bracco opens up about the 'freedom when you fall from grace'
• Colby Donaldson reacts to playing Survivor for the first time without Jerri
• Angelina Keeley refused to do Survivor 50 unless they gave her a jacket
• Survivor 50's Coach goes deep on evolving from an 'arrogant ass' into the… Tide Walker?
• Survivor 50 star Jenna Leiws-Dougherty is 'here to f— you over in every way, shape, or form'
• Cirie Fields says winning The Traitors does not take sting out of Survivor loses
• Mike White on how he is handling Survivor 50 castmastes angling for White Lotus cameos
• Chrissy Hofbeck opens up about controversial season 35 end and being bashed by earlier forged
• Rick Devens explains why he’s a lunatic that wishes to play with different lunatics
• Stephenie LaGrossa Kendrick desires to show that 'mother actually is a badass'
• Christian Hubicki wished to inform Survivor 50 pre-gamers to 'f— off'