Regina King and Valerie Bertinelli are talking brazenly about their experiences with grief.

The pair sat down on Monday’s episode of The Drew Barrymore Show to debate King’s newest tasks together with her new wine label MianU, which is called after her late son Ian Alexander Jr., who died by suicide in 2022.

“One of the lovely issues about Ian is he beloved to find after which introduce you to what he found,” King defined. “Ian’s an artist — and I at all times talk about him within the current, as a result of he’s nonetheless right here — and so it’s celebrating all of that brilliance, the creativity, the ability of connection, the power that he brings into the room each time he’s there and, for me, it is vitally essential that Ian’s title is at all times continued to be stated.”

Bertinelli acknowledged that one of many issues she and King share in frequent is that they each “take care of grief” of their on a regular basis lives. The One Day at a Time actress misplaced Eddie Van Halen, her ex-husband and the daddy of her son Wolfgang Van Halen, after a prolonged battle with most cancers in 2020.

“I do know that I get to have fun my son and watch him onstage, however there’s a giant gap there as I need to be subsequent to his dad,” Bertinelli stated as King nodded. “And I need to be celebrating it with him, however I can’t. So you are feeling that grief, however you continue to really feel the celebration.”

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When requested how she balances the diametrically opposed emotions, King responded, “I believe I’ve come to comprehend and settle for that so many issues that we are saying need to be black or white, we’re normally at all times within the grey. Happiness and unhappiness are occurring for me on a regular basis, on the similar time, each single second.”

She continued, “So it’s leaning into the grief. Disappointment just isn’t a foul factor, however a factor that exists. It’s love.”

Bertinelli then referenced a quote — “grief is love with no place to go” – that King gleaned from a card that was given to her mother.

“That has been the shortest bite-size quote that basically encapsulates every part that I really feel,” she stated, earlier than acknowledging that it’s a sense that “each human being” will expertise all through their lifetimes.

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Bertinelli praised King’s choice to essentially sit with grief and “make it part of your life,” noting that “we don’t have a selection” in any other case.

“I’m so glad that you just simply stated — we don’t have a selection — you recognize, after I first began to talk publicly after,” King started.

To which Bertinelli responded, “How was that?”

“Actually, actually onerous,” King confessed. “And at the moment, the reality for me was that Ian had a selection. It was his selection.”

Nevertheless, as time has passed by, King added that “I’ve come to comprehend that was probably not the best technique to body the place Ian was in his despair. He didn’t have a selection, you recognize?”

Bertinelli understood, noting that despair “can seize a maintain of somebody” even when they “don’t need to be depressed.”

The Drew Crew member went on to emphasise the significance of King’s work. “I would like you to know what you’re doing in speaking about grief and speaking about loss is extremely essential to individuals who really feel that and really feel they don’t have a voice and really feel so alone in it,” she stated. “I would like you to know you’re giving a phenomenal reward to individuals, as onerous as it’s for you.”

Each Bertinelli and King have spoken out about how they carry the reminiscence of their family members within the wake of their loss. For King, it comes each time she drinks MianU.

"Each time a cork opens, or each time I'm pouring a glass, I'm pondering of Ian," King instructed Haute Dwelling in August. "I'm pondering of him 24/7 anyway, however at all times on this second, I can see his face. And for individuals who by no means bought the prospect to bop with Ian, perhaps they'll be curious. Possibly they'll ask. His title is correct there, in the midst of all of it. He'll by no means be forgotten… When you see me, you see Ian."

And, in an October episode of The Drew Barrymore Present, Bertinelli defined that she nonetheless has “deep love” for Van Halen “despite the fact that he’s not right here” anymore.

“It's not a romantic love — I do know individuals get that every one confused after I say soulmates and every part,” she stated. “It wasn't romantic love any longer, it was only a deep love for a soul that I adored. And he was a superb man."

The Drew Barrymore Present airs weekdays on CBS.

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