Valerie Bertinelli reveals she was sexually abused at 11: ‘I used to be just a bit lady’

Valerie Bertinelli is opening up about being sexually abused as a baby.

The One Day at a Time alum reveals in her forthcoming memoir, titled Getting Bare: The Quiet Work of Changing into Completely Imperfect, that she was sexually assaulted at age 11.

“I suppose as a result of I'm therapeutic from it, it’s not so scary anymore,” Bertinelli instructed PEOPLE concerning the incident. “I can say it out loud. I used to be sexually assaulted. It doesn't really feel prefer it owns me anymore.”

The Drew Barrymore Show star defined that it took her at the least a decade to really feel able to share her expertise with the world.

“The very first time I mentioned it out loud to my therapist, I believed, ‘I’m going to really feel higher now.’ It received worse earlier than it received higher,” she recalled. “I perhaps ate somewhat bit extra, drank somewhat bit extra. Once you cease consuming issues for consolation, cease consuming alcohol, it exposes your emotions. You possibly can take care of them or not. And I selected to take care of them.”

She added, “I don't really feel disgrace about it anymore. I’m pissed off that it occurred. No one deserves that.”

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Bertinelli shared that she purposefully included {a photograph} of herself at age 11 initially of the chapter in order that readers might see “that’s the little lady that was sexually abused.”

“It boggles my thoughts that this little lady was taken benefit of that approach,” she continued. “And it boggles my thoughts as a result of it’s nonetheless occurring. And I don’t understand how we’re going to lastly come up and say, ‘That is sufficient.’”

Reflecting on what she was like as an 11-year-old, Bertinelli described her youthful self as somebody who “liked to paint, learn, play with my Barbies and trip my bike across the block.” She added, “I liked my cats. I used to be just a bit lady.”

Now, she continued, "I'm a survivor."

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Nonetheless, Bertinelli acknowledged that she carried a sense of “disgrace” together with her for a very long time. “And I do know I’m not the one one which feels that approach,” she mentioned. “Sadly numerous girls really feel disgrace for one thing that was by no means their fault.”

She recalled an incident by which she instructed an unnamed particular person concerning the incident, just for them to make use of it “in opposition to me as a weapon to harm me” out of anger. “And I believed, ‘This will’t ever occur once more,’” Bertinelli mentioned. “I can’t management what different folks say or do to me, or say about me, however what I can management is how I really feel about myself and the way that would have an effect on me if somebody says one thing that I do know isn’t true about me.”

Which is why Bertinelli “dug deep” and commenced remedy. It was throughout these periods that she realized that the “disgrace” that she felt about herself and her physique over time was rooted in childhood trauma.

“As I used to be going via that, I’m pondering persons are going to surprise, why do I’ve a lot self-loathing? That’s not regular,” she mentioned. “It’s as a result of trauma occurred in my childhood for essentially the most half. I can’t converse for anyone else, however it’s fairly textbook.”

Getting Bare: The Quiet Work of Changing into Completely Imperfect arrives on bookshelves on March 10.

In case you or somebody you recognize has been sexually assaulted, please contact the Nationwide Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.

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