Alejandro Garnacho should be dropped but Manchester United have made an actual good signing! As have Chelsea with Moises Caicedo, it turns out.
1) That this was not the first time Manchester United went into a Premier League meeting with Chelsea in November under the caretaker charge of a Knows The Club coach appointed to steady a managerial ship he helped sink as an all-too-visible assistant was wonderfully damning in itself.
Down to the details of Ruud van Nistelrooy having to flat-bat the same questions about Ruben Amorim’s influence over team selection that Michael Carrick faced with Ralf Rangnick supposedly operating in the shadows three years ago, this was an eerily similar situation for a hilariously mismanaged club to find itself in.
That November 2021 game at Stamford Bridge – a 1-1 draw, as it happens – featured some exceptional punditry nonsense from Roy Keane. But one of his points was eye-catching when viewed with three years of hindsight.
“The proof will be in the pudding over the next few years when we see who comes into the club, and that it’s not because you know somebody or have a certain agent. You hope whoever does come into the club starts to make the right decisions, get the right people in for the job, and not because someone might know somebody, or they are a decent guy.”
Hold my beer, said Erik ten Hag, because it’s time to sign all my former Ajax players.
The thing is, whether watching this as 90 isolated minutes or as another piece in this puzzling season, there is a glaring issue in this team which one of Amorim’s most successful Sporting projects should address. Some Viktor Gyokeres-shaped nepotism might not go amiss.
2) Carrick walked away from this mess once his handover to Rangnick was complete, ostensibly to pursue a more permanent arrangement at senior level but very possibly because he was shamed at the idea he might stick around despite being tarnished by two previous managerial tenures.
Van Nistelrooy should have no such qualms. He arrived with the Ten Hag vessel already sinking and has done well as a steady hand waiting for Amorim’s arrival.
His public declarations about wanting to stay are interesting because Amorim is, for all intents and purposes, an INEOS appointment who will fall in line: he is a ‘head coach’ rather than a manager and will not hold the same recruitment power as his predecessors. The Portuguese should have say in his coaching set-up but if Manchester United choose to keep Van Nistelrooy on then that is a decision he must accept.
It would make for a strange dynamic and a fresh start after his panicked summer appointment. Having been introduced into a doomed relationship between two parties desperate to spice things up and make it work, Van Nistelrooy has shown he is worth keeping around in some capacity for reasons beyond blind faith and sentiment.
3) After a frenetic, error-strewn start from both teams, the origin of the first shot seemed like it might come to define the game. Matthijs de Ligt did well to block Cole Palmer’s effort from only a few yards out but Moises Caicedo setting the chance up after intercepting a Casemiro pass felt significant.
As fun a season as it was spent pointing and laughing at Chelsea for their incompetent trailing and eventual record capture of Caicedo, the joke is on everyone else from this campaign onwards. The midfielder’s improvement has been sustained over this past year and his performance levels are approaching something really quite exceptional.
The equaliser was a fine accoutrement, a Garth Crooks-baiting moment of brilliance in a wider display of dominance. But those defensive numbers are back among the absolute best in Europe, his ability to avoid bookings is unparalleled and Chelsea have one of the best midfielders in the world at 23 for the next six decades. That fee is barely mentioned anymore, and for good reason.
4) Yet Casemiro was not the liability many might have expected at that point. There can be little blame attributed to the clearing header Caicedo duly dispatched into the bottom corner, while the Brazilian’s clever pass led to the penalty for the opener.
With the main task of chauffeuring Palmer across Old Trafford it was a solid effort from Casemiro, who was only exposed once or twice and not in the sort of costly positions he has tended to leave his team vulnerable in before.
It was actually rather the opposite: Casemiro was let down by his teammates on a number of occasions. Andre Onana played the most hospital of passes to him under immense pressure in the first half and Alejandro Garnacho received a bollocking from the former Real Madrid midfielder for failing to track back after giving the ball away at 1-1 in the second.
Casemiro has been poor for some time, but the system he was constantly deployed in and the five-time European champion having to play in these conditions does explain some of the drop-off. It must be some adjustment to have this around you instead of Luka Modric.
5) That Garnacho dressing-down had been coming. If Van Nistelrooy made an obvious mistake in his first Premier League game on the touchline it was keeping the Argentine on because he was dreadful.
Three of his four shots – all from presentable positions after good team build-up – were mishit. The fourth was blocked. He did not beat Malo Gusto once and rather than contributing nothing, was actively detrimental to the attack at times.
With two goals and a solitary opening-day assist to show for his Premier League season so far, the question should really be if rather than when he is taken out of the side. His last 12 league starts have produced a single goal and no assists. This is a deeply ineffective Manchester United attack which cannot afford a passenger and no player in that forward line should be considered undroppable.
Making youth development part of your club’s image and ethos is a noble cause and no bad thing but managing the minutes of a 20-year-old not willing to do the hard yards because his place is under no real threat falls under that remit. The hope is that Amorim is brave enough to make such calls.
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6) Casemiro might disagree but Garnacho’s worst moment came midway through the first half as Manchester United threatened to counter. Lavia lost the ball around the halfway line and it was worked to Rasmus Hojlund as Chelsea scurried around trying to restock their relatively bare defensive cupboards.
Perhaps the final pass was delayed a little too long but really the responsibility was on Garnacho to watch the line hold his run and not be completely unnecessarily caught offside just as a three-versus-three attack unfolded. His frustration in throwing the ball to the ground at least showed self-awareness of his mistake.
A couple of minutes prior, Marcus Rashford had expertly worked his way down the left and forced a save from Robert Sanchez from an acute angle with no cutback option available. Hojlund was laid prone, clutching his face after a nothing incident with Levi Colwill, presumably manoeuvring for a penalty which was never going to be given rather than trying to work himself into a position to help his teammate.
Those two moments coming in quick succession felt indicative of young forwards prone to naivety, and anxious players so aware of the current team profligacy that they are making poor, snap decisions when proper thought and clarity might ordinarily prevail.
7) Rashford was, at times, a nice contrast to that. His footwork to get past Gusto and to the byline for the first real Manchester United opening was a flash of genius, as was the sort of stepover dummy which allowed Garnacho to waste another opportunity soon after.
There was to be no breakthrough and Van Nistelrooy’s decision to have the wingers switch flanks didn’t seem to produce the desired results until Bruno Fernandes floated a glorious delivery to the back post on the stroke of half-time, which Rashford met with a first-time volley.
It clipped the crossbar and agonisingly went over, the requisite technique to execute such a move demanding just slightly too much from a player trying but struggling to make things happen.
These substitutions might not be helping in that regard. Rashford has completed the full 90 minutes in three of his 15 starts this season and that cannot be down to either fitness or attitude considering those that have been trusted more.
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8) The hope at Stamford Bridge will be that Enzo Fernandez can undergo the same difficult transformation as Caicedo. As it is, the 50 per cent success rate on nine-figure midfielders is an expensive old process to follow but there will always be saleable academy kids or hotels to offset those losses.
Romeo Lavia was uncharacteristically poor in possession so it remains to be seen whether Enzo Maresca acts on that and tinkers with his system again.
The captain has done nothing in his recent substitute cameos to deserve that opportunity, marking this appearance with a horrible miss when given time and space by Nicolas Jackson’s lay-off late on with the scores level.
Fernandez did nothing of note otherwise and it is tough to see where his face fits in this team. When Chelsea needed control, they brought on their £106.8m midfielder and he misplaced a third of his passes; it’s not ideal.
9) “That’s the best moment of the half,” said Gary Neville as Palmer eliminated Casemiro and Rashford from the game with one sublime touch into space from the left touchline before running in on goal.
It said rather more about the 40 minutes which preceded it, although it was a wonderful piece of improvisation and impudence.
The pièce de résistance, however, was Manuel Ugarte storming in to literally just barge Palmer over and take a booking. The Uruguayan was penalised for four more fouls thereafter but his midfield defiance was such that being being sent off would not have made a great difference.
10) De Ligt did excellently on two occasions, stalling Palmer and refusing to commit him as the Chelsea forward bore down on goal in the area before blocking his snatched shot both times.
The second half of that Bayern Munich sales promotion, Noussair Mazraoui showed he is a better at left-back than No. 10 and indeed possibly right-back. Noni Madueke did little beyond hitting the post with a header from a corner and that side was handled ably by one of Ten Hag’s precious few jobs-for-the-boys buys.
A reliable defender who can be trusted on the ball under pressure, further forward and even in a number of different positions, Manchester United have found themselves the sort of low-key bargain which really should show them that throwing stupid sums around aimlessly solves nothing.
11) It was Mazraoui’s gut-busting overlap which Garnacho bizarrely ignored before losing possession and having to be bailed out by Casemiro. That was a) in the 84th minute, and b) less than a month since Mazraoui underwent a corrective heart procedure. That is faintly ludicrous.
12) The cheapest of Manchester United’s five first-team signings made for a combined near-£200m summer spend being their best addition is a hilarious bit from the INEOS brains trust. Mazraoui cost at least three times less than any of the other new arrivals and is the only one the jury doesn’t remain out on.
De Ligt has had some wobbles but has done more good than harm. Ugarte remains unconvincing and ultimately needs time. Leny Yoro cannot possibly judged either way yet and probably for a few years even when he returns from injury. And Joshua Zirkzee is still an unsolvable enigma of epic proportions.
Where is his best position? Why did Manchester United, when needing a more senior forward, sign him? What are his strengths? Why did he look so painfully slow when he had those three touches late on?
In fairness – and sorry to labour the point about this one particular moment – Zirkzee’s movement as Mazraoui completed his overlapping run for Garnacho suggested he would have scored had the right choices been made as Marc Cucurella completely lost him. But they weren’t, he didn’t and the questions really do only grow louder.
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13) Hojlund was not considerably better from the start but those displays are forgiven and largely forgotten with skill in those decisive moments. Even his touch to bring down Casemiro’s lofted pass was imperfect but the Dane did enough to force a mistake from Robert Sanchez and win the penalty.
The Spaniard had a relatively solid game otherwise but this calibre of error feels all too frequent and it still seems incongruous that in this lavish project into which actual billions have been invested and players have been discarded in bulk, Chelsea have built a squad they reckon has title-winning potential but are so wedded to a keeper who is mid-table at best.
14) Mykhailo Mudryk was brought on in the 69th minute; only three players had more unsuccessful dribbles and no-one was dispossessed more often. Chelsea cannot possibly persist with that experiment for much longer.
15) Another game, another completely unnecessary, entirely avoidable and frankly cowardly Lisandro Martinez tackle.
As with the one against Crystal Palace in September, it came towards the end of a fine individual performance from the centre-half. Martinez had played really well and seemed to get the customary rash challenge out of his system after clattering Jackson near the halfway line. Well done, The Butcher. You are really tough.
Yet Martinez saved his best for stoppage-time, flicking his studs up to connect with Palmer’s knee after he had lifted the ball over his head. A lesser person might suggest that didn’t require much effort on the part of the Chelsea forward.
It turns out Martinez is not at all too short to thrive as a Premier League centre-half at all. He is too much of a snide dick to be a consistently reliable one, though, because at some point his reputation will precede him and these tackles will let his team down more often than not.
16) The 28 players used at Old Trafford cost £1.24billion; mediocrity doesn’t half come at a price.
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